A usual morning when I woke up with the sweet fragrance of adrak wali chai prepared by dearest husband. How I love these mornings!
So taking in the tea, along with the morning view from my balcony, I casually asked my husband.."When did u wake up?". He said "5.45".
Now, don't be surprised I asked that. Our schedules are changed because of recent change in our home address and kids' school address.
So back to the chat..I asked him if he doesn't feel sleepy at work in the afternoon? And his sincere reply "Do I have that option?"
Now this got me thinking. Everyday we read so many posts, jokes and forwards on men. So many posts which celebrate and sympathize with the sacrifices a woman makes in a marriage. Like she left her childhood home, her family, her friends and even changed her name. How she bears and rears kids of the man..the kids who carry his name. Take care of the home, cook, clean and do all the housework.
True, we do all this. We leave few things behind, but not that we lose all that connects us to our childhood. They are all very much a part of our life. And few more people and places are added into our life. We lose less, we gain more.
And if we don't want all the changes, we still have a choice. It's not mandatory to marry. There's no law which forces us to do so. One can choose to stay single and enjoy all the freedom and fun that comes with it.
Coming to sacrifices, doesn't a man sacrifice? All through his growing up years, he has to keep in mind that he has a career to make, and a pretty good one at that. A woman has a choice here, she can choose to have a career or not. And nobody considers her a failure if she chooses not to have one. It's not the same with man.
Playful, carefree boys get serious when they realize they have to create their own future. They study hard, get a job, work hard and spend their hard earned money after family. Spending on parents who have brought them up, put up with their tantrums, spent their time, energy and money on educating their children is understandable.
Then a man has a choice, to marry or not to. Just like a woman has one.
He can choose to have a family, be the provider, bring up children, give them a good life and good education, build a home using his money, which he got through his knowledge and skills, and where he hardly gets time to spend coz of his job. Of course he does that together with his wife, who is an equal partner and provider.
But then, he can choose to remain a bachelor. Live the life as he wants, do whatever he wants. He doesn't need to be responsible for anybody else. He can use this time and money wherever he wants.
He can hire help for all the work.
It's just that he chose to marry, like his wife did. People don't marry to make sacrifices or compromises. They marry because they want to be together. They want to build a life with that one person who matters to them. Both work equally to make that life beautiful.
In all the feminism that surrounds us, we are too harsh on men. Agree, there are quite a few women who suffer and quite a few men who are completely unworthy. But let's not generalise.
Nothing wrong in celebrating the strong woman, but please don't demean the resilient man.